Chapter 6:3 A New Awareness

< Chapter 6:2                                                                        Chapter 6:4 > 

So as I looked at my life, there was a new awareness, everything was making sense. I could finally see why I had gone through all the struggles, the experiences, the highs, and the lows. But I had no idea how the rest of this journey was going to unfold.

I was still DJing in NYC at Flash Dancers on Broadway making a 6-figure income when Bob offered me a position as one of his coaches. I had been helping with his events and traveling around the country as part of the volunteer staff at some of Tony’s larger events. It seemed obvious to everyone that I had quite a grasp on the material. Bob and I discussed an option where I would only coach after his local events so that I could continue to work at the clubs.

I started coaching part-time in June of 1998 and by August was offered a full time position working with Bob as a “Corporate Trainer”. Life was about to take another dramatic turn.

It was around this same time that the city of New York had passed some new zoning laws that were really hurting business at the clubs that I was working in. The amount of customers had dropped drastically and because of a smaller number of customers many of the dancers had left also. After 6 months of declining business, I had gone from making just under $100,000 in 1997, to being on track to make around $45,000 for 1998. So when Bob offered me the position doing corporate training, the decision to make the career change came relatively easy. I had been DJing for 7 years by this point, and the whole lifestyle of going to bed at 6AM and working in smoke filled clubs all night was getting very old. I quit working at the club in August and went to work full time as a coach and trainer for Anthony Robbins & Associates in September of 1998 after returning from attending one of Tony’s seminars in Hawaii.

Coaching was an amazing experience. It was an honor to sit and have these people who were total strangers being so open with me about what was going on in their lives. It was like they finally had someplace they could feel comfortable opening up. It was a lot like working with people in AA. You learned quickly how to see past the BS and help them get to what was really the obstacle they were facing. Then after sharing some skills and strategies with them, it was amazing to watch them and see the transformations that they began making.

I began to study even more advanced technologies in an effort to help affect change in the people I was coaching. Eric Lindsay (Bob’s VP) introduced me to things like Neuro Linguistic Programming and Ericksonian Hypnosis. These new technologies were allowing me to guide people to making changes in their lives that would have otherwise taken years for them to do without guidance. What a rewarding feeling it was for me to watch these people as they began to achieve their goals and overcome their fears. I can still remember getting a phone call from one of my coaching clients telling me that he had gotten more out of his one hour session with me than he did in 10 years of therapy. For me I don’t believe there was a more rewarding feeling than knowing that I had helped someone at that level.

I loved working with the people that I was coaching. The more I worked with people, the more I became determined to become the best coach I could be. I read books, attended seminars, went to trainings and enrolled myself in home study courses. Every day I was doing all that I could to learn more about how to help affect change in people. The more I studied, the more tools I found that were available to make me even more effective with the people I was coaching. Along with Neuro Linguistic Programming and Ericksonian Hypnosis I also started utilizing Persuasion Engineering and Design Human Engineering as advanced techniques that would allow me to become a better facilitator and coach.

(Since many people are not familiar with these technologies, Neuro Linguistic Programming is a technology that was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder as they studied some of the people who are most effective in the fields of human behavior. NLP as it is called is much of the basis that much of Anthony Robbins’ Neuro Associative Conditioning or NAC is based on. Persuasion Engineering and Design Human Engineering are technologies that were developed by Richard Bandler as he progressed further into the field of human understanding and development. And Ericksonian Hypnosis is a style of hypnosis named after the man who pioneered much of modern hypnosis, Milton Erickson.)

As I progressed with AR&A (Anthony Robbins and Associates), I began to find myself in a bit of a moral dilemma. Now I want to be careful here, things can sometimes be easily misinterpreted. As all of us go through life, we have learning experiences, and sometimes they come hidden in chaos and pain. The issues I am going to discuss here are in no way meant to demean myself or the others who played a part in this portion of the development of my life. I have to say that whenever I was working directly with Tony and the people from his office in San Diego, it was always a professional and pleasant experience. My challenge came with working with the NJ affiliate office. And I also have to add, that the benefits that came from that office far outweigh any challenges I had. I will be discussing those benefits later in this chapter.

When I started working for Bob, I was under the impression that my main focus was to give people skills and strategies that would allow them to facilitate change in their lives. I also knew that part of our role was to encourage these people to take the next step and attend our next program. I realize that most people are not going to benefit from just one seminar, or one coaching session. I also know that change is a journey, and that everyone needs guidance along the way. But as I became more involved in the operations of the New Jersey office, I began to feel that our true role was to be mainly glorified salesmen and only coaches by title. I was beginning to feel that primary focus was that we were to use our skills to sell people into larger and more expensive programs. Again, I know that this was to be a part of what we offered, but the longer I was there, it seemed to me that the core motivation shifted from a focus of helping people, to being totally focused on “the sale“.

Our weekly meetings turned less and less about what we could do better to help people as coaches, and more into a contest of “Who sold the most programs?” I was at odds with this because my outcome was for my client to get their result. If they got their result, and decided that they wanted to sign up for a program, then I was happy that they committed to continuing their growth. But I was not going to lessen the intensity of their coaching session, or base it’s success on how many programs they signed up for and what payment plan they chose. Again, I must emphasize that these were my perceptions. I am not in any way saying that this was the intention of the company. My perceptions were what lead me to the next part of my journey and are being written here for that reason only.

Soon my enthusiasm for what I was doing with the company began to decline and I decided to end my position as a coach and moved into only doing corporate facilitating with Anthony Robbins and Associates.

Now I want you to understand, I realize that a business must make money to survive. I also understand that many of these people truly needed to go further into personal development to really make the changes that they were looking for. Where I began to have a problem was when it seemed to me that the sale became so much more important than the service. I chose to move into the facilitator role because I knew that working in the corporate environment would give me a lot of experience in really using my presentation skills. Though I missed the one on one contact with clients, there was a great feeling in being able to take a room full of people who I had never seen before and by the end of the session have them understanding a new skill, then seeing them on their feet, laughing, high-fiving each other and watching a renewed energy in them as they left the presentation.

Meanwhile, my perception of things back at the office kept getting worse as challenges arose in regards to the training that our clients were getting. As a facilitator, we would go into a company and present a workshop. We would share specific skills and strategies that the manager or owner wanted for his people. Then they would get involved in more in-depth training. At this point, Bob would come into the picture and take over the facilitating. As facilitators we were instructed to tell these people that there would be specific skills taught at the next level. Then we would back up their investment with a 100% money back guarantee.

What began to happen was that some people felt that when Bob would get in front of them, he would spend a very small amount of time on giving them the skills that we had been told to promise them, and then go straight into a sales pitch for other seminars.

Soon I was getting phone calls from many of the clients asking for their money back. These people had come to the program under the impression that they were going to get specific training, and felt that a major part of the day was a sales pitch. I informed them that this would not be a problem; our policy was a 100% satisfaction guarantee. I went through the channels and was told that everything would be taken care of.

Around a month later I returned from an appointment to find a mountain of messages from clients who had not yet received their refunds. I approached Bob and he told me to see what I could do about “turning these people around”. Being asked to do this made me quite uncomfortable. I respect his point of view. From his perception, he had given them the skills they had come for. But it was my belief that our guarantee was “no questions asked” as it stated on the contract and I told him that I would not go against my own word, and what he had told me was the word of the company.

I approached Eric and discussed the situation with him. He agreed and we both revisited Bob and discussed what we felt about the program. We felt strongly that he did not give the value the clients had paid for, but instead tried to just sell them into more expensive programs. We also shared our opinions about having to stick by the contract and return their money. Bob agreed and I left satisfied that my clients were served.

After having attended a couple of the programs that Bob was facilitating with our clients, I began to be less enthusiastic about what I was doing. I was beginning to have a problem with going out to these companies, promising them specific skills and not feeling certain that our company was going to deliver on the promise. Even more frustrating was that I knew if they didn’t like the program that they may have a hard time getting their money back.

Eric and I approached Bob repeatedly expressing our concerns and Bob would always promise that changes were going to be made. But the next program the same thing would happen. It wasn’t long before Eric and I made the decision to leave Anthony Robbins & Associates and start our own business venture with another one of the trainers from the office. We felt that the clients were not getting the most they could for their investment, and decided to create what we believed would be a more appropriate and personalized program which would allow us to teach some of the newer technologies that we had been using, but that we were not allowed to teach within the structure of Anthony Robbins & Associates. And most importantly, we would be able to make sure that we were accountable in seeing that they got what they paid for.

In closing this chapter I do want to repeat that whenever I was working with Tony personally and with his team from San Diego, everything was handled with the utmost professionalism. I want everyone to understand, the challenges I had with the way things were done was within the New Jersey affiliate office. And I also want to stress that these challenges were only my perception of what was going on. I also have respect for Bob and what he was trying to do. I believe he had the best of intentions, and at the same time, we had differences in opinion as to how those intentions could be made a reality.

I have the highest regard for Anthony Robbins personally and for Robbins Research International. His company helped to start me on a path of personal growth that has continued to open my mind to new directions. Being a part of his company is an integral part of the fiber of who I am and what I believe and teach. And I still recommend that anyone who is interested in starting a journey into a deeper understanding attend one of his programs.

I also have the highest regard and respect for Bob Quintana and his company here in New Jersey. It was through my association with Bob, that I was introduced to some of the dearest friends today. Without working for him, I may never have been exposed to many of the technologies that I now embrace and would not have grown as much as I have in my life. Bob and I have recently re-connected as friends and have discussed much of that period of our lives. I believe that it would be safe to say that we both see where we were at that point, how we both were having “perception” challenges, and have made our amends with each other and have moved forward as friends and peers in the Personal and Spiritual development world.

I want to take this space to personally thank him for all the contributions he has made to my own personal development and to introducing me to so many of the people who I love and respect today.

The last thing I want to suggest is when it comes to Tony’s programs is that you keep your mind open to all technologies and go at your own pace. Also remember that Tony is only one avenue. For many people, his approach may not be what you are comfortable with. Just because it launched me in a new direction, it may or may not be the best for you.

There are so many amazing teachers out there that you can learn incredible things from it is limiting to follow just one. I personally recommend Tony’s material, and Bob’s programs. I also suggest that you study Richard Bandler, Milton Erickson, and Virginia Satir if you are interested in deep technical aspects of human change. Or read books by Robert Kiyosaki, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Neale Donald Walsch, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra the list goes on and on. It is a journey that will last you a lifetime.

< Chapter 6:2                                                                         Chapter 6:4 >


The Warrior Sage Chapter/Section

Who Is Willard Barth?
Author's Notes
Preface - Exploring Strength And Weakness
Chapter 1:1 - The Process Of Self-Awareness
Chapter 1:2 The Stages Of Child Development
Chapter 2:1 The World Changed Forever
Chapter 2:2 The Vicious Cycle Begins
Chapter 2:3 Losing Faith
Chapter 2:4 My Dark Secret
Chapter 2:5 Where Is The Love I Was Promised?
Chapter 3:2 The Road To Alcohol Dependence
Chapter 3:3 Leaving My Childhood Behind
Chapter 3:4 Escaping Responsibility; The Joy Ride Ends
Chapter 3:5 Living A Duality Begins
Chapter 3:6 Out Of Control
Chapter 3:7 Crossing The Line To Insanity
Chapter 3:8 The Black-out Drinking Begins
Chapter 3:9 Facing The Music
Chapter 3:10 A New Beginning
Chapter 3:11 More Lessons To Learn
Chapter 4:1 The Final Party
Chapter 4:2 A Moment Of Clarity
Chapter 4:3 My New Life Begins
Chapter 4:4 Sober, Time To Face The World
Chapter 4:5 The First Year Of Sobriety 
Chapter 4:6 Major Change Comes In Year Two
Chapter 4:7 My Daughter Is Born April 20, 1992
Chapter 5:1 Life Changing Decisions Follow My Daughter's Birth
Chapter 5:2 Recognizing The Voice Inside
Chapter 5:3 The Empress Hotel
Chapter 5:4 A New Chapter In My Life Begins
Chapter 6:1 Finding My Way Home
Chapter 6:2 Falling Into Place
Chapter 6:3 A New Awareness
Chapter 6:4 Personal Finances And Personal Development
Chapter 6:5 The George Washington Story
Chapter 6:6 Letting Go So Others Can Grow 
Chapter 6:7 The Wrap Up 


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