A List Of Excuses Vs. Results

Self-Awareness 101 Episode 20: A List Of Excuses vs. Results

In this episode Willard talks about making a conscious decision about whether we want to be known for delivering excuses or results.

< EP 19: Personal Development Tests           EP 21: Meaning Of Honesty >

As part of this video series, we offer "Transcriptions Plus". After the video has been recorded, it is transcribed and then Willard adds content to expand on any areas that he believes will bring added value to the reader. We hope that after watching the video "A List Of Excuses", you will also take a moment to review the transcription and let us know your thoughts by posting your comments in our Forums

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with commitments you've made to the point where you follow through on almost none of them?

Commitments to others, or maybe even commitments to yourself -example, commitments to assignments, getting things done at work, commitments to your family , commitments to quitting smoking or going on a diet and exercising.

There was a point in my life where I was so scared of disappointing other people that I would say yes to everything people asked me to do, knowing that there was only 24 hours in a day and there was no way I was going to accomplish it all.

But I did not want to disappoint people, so I would say yes. And then I would follow through to maybe only 20 % of what I committed to and then come up with a list of excuses as to why I couldn't keep my word. But I thought I was a good guy, because when people asked, I would say, "Absolutely, I can do that." I didn't even realize how often I was not keeping my word, until I had a fried call me on it. On a regular basis I committed to him that I would come to his house and help him out with things. Then I would call him to let him know that I was running late. And then I would call him again telling him I was going to be even later to the point where I would end up being hours late. One day he really had enough and said, "You know what, I'm not counting on you anymore because you don't keep your word." At first I took that as a slap in the face because when I was younger my grandmother would tell us that the only thing of value in life… is your word. And I used to believe that I was good at keeping my word. I showed up... I was late but I showed up... ok, sometimes I showed up.

If you think about it, your word is the main thing that people really judge you by. It’s not your intentions, its your actions, your follow through. That is how people form their opinions of what kind of person you are. So when my friend made me aware of how often I was not keeping my word, I really needed to re-evaluate things, because I valued his opinion, and for him to point this pout as strongly as he did, I knew I was not being true to who I represented myself to be. I wanted to be a person of integrity. I wanted to be authentic. I wanted people to know that they could count on me. And that was my fear, it was why I committed to so much, I didn't want to disappoint them and I found out that I was disappointing them almost 80% of the time.

So I became hyper-sensitive to what I would say yes to. I made the decision that I was no longer going to over commit myself. I would only commit to things that I knew without a doubt, that I could step up to with full certainty, and do. It got to the point where some people thought I was absolutely silly with it. They would ask, "Could you pick me up at the airport on Thursday?" and I would say, "Ask me on Thursday". They would look at me strangely and ask again, "No, I need to know if you can pick me up at the airport on Thursday." And I would stay with my response, "Please ask me on Thursday, I don't want to make a commitment now that I may not be able to keep." At first, people were a bit offended by that kind of response, but over time they learned that the only thing I would commit to was something I was certain I could deliver on. They began to know that if I told them I was going to do it, they had no doubt in their mind that I would follow through on my promise and do it.

Doing this changed my perceptions about myself and it changed other's perceptions about me. And something I want to mention here that is very, very important; is that by not keeping my word and constantly making a list of excuses, unconsciously I had set myself up to fail in everything that I attempted. 80% of what I had set as a goal, I would not follow through on. Because unconsciously, when I said “Yes”, even to myself, or when I told myself I was going to do something, my unconscious had been conditioned to believe that I would not follow through. Since my unconscious didn't believe I was going to follow through, it never pulled together the resources I needed to succeed. It knew that my commitment meant nothing.

So what I want to ask you to do is for the next week, for the next seven days, become hypersensitive to what you do commit to. Only commit to things that you absolutely know you can follow through on. Stay away from saying yes just to get someone off your back. Stay away from saying yes just to avoid to getting into a deeper discussion of why you can't do it. Only commit to what you can follow through on.

Again, a list of excuses or results. It is your choice. Which will you deliver?

I look forward to seeing you again soon.

< EP 19: Personal Development Tests           EP 21: Meaning Of Honesty >

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