It’s hard to believe that I originally started this almost 11 years ago. It was something I had considered, and then reconsidered publishing over that time. I wrote this manuscript, as you will learn, to put the past behind me and also to uncover lessons that I had learned. And now, having spoken, coached, traveled and shared who I have become today with participants at seminars, concerts and now through the Self-Awareness 101 video series, I have been asked again and again to tell the story of how I became who I am today. So I decided to visit this manuscript once more… bring it up to date, edit out some of the material that was more for my own evaluation, and make it public. I hope that my insights will bring value to you, or someone you love and help them reach their greatest potential. No matter how far down a path of destruction you go… there is Always Hope!
I sit here at 2:30 AM on the 3rd of December 1998 and, for some reason, I can’t seem to sleep. There is something that keeps telling me it is time to put it all down, telling me it is time for me to clear out the past so that I may move on. Have you ever felt that you were standing at an important crossroads in your life? A place where you felt you could leap to amazing new heights, and yet, there seem to be weights that are still holding you to the ground? As I look back, I can see that I’ve “made peace” with much of my past, but that “soft voice” inside seems to be telling me that there is more that needs put to rest because my wings are not yet lifting me off the ground.
I started with that last paragraph almost exactly 18 months ago. Over that period of time, I have come back to it from time to time and added bits and pieces, which have become this book "The Warrior Sage; Sacred Scars" that is now in front of you. I didn’t start out writing this in the hopes it would become some best seller, or even with the intent that it could “inspire” someone. But after having shared it with a few people, I know that it will. I wrote it as a cleansing. A way of putting my past to rest, while at the same time, re-affirming my strengths and my character for myself so I can carry new feelings of certainty about who I truly am and have references as to what I am truly capable of into my future.
You see, it is my belief that the past does not equal the present, nor does it define the future. The past is a history, of choices, decisions and their outcomes that if looked at, appreciated and learned from, can allow us to grow as individuals, and ultimately, as a society.
So many of us, myself included, have looked to our past as a definition of who we are now. We have used the past to define our lives, by focusing on theoutcomes of those past experiences. In doing this, the result of the experience ends up being the “primary” thing that defines our identity.
What if, as you read these pages you were able to find a way in your own life to use the past as the tool it should be? What if you were able to use the life you have lived until now as a glorious new opportunity for growth and finally see the past from a new perception? What if I were able to share with you a way that we can finally use our past as a series of experiences that allow us to recognize our strength? And as we begin to see our lives from these new perceptions what will begin to happen is that we will re-evaluate those experiences and truly learn from them. As we do that, we will automatically begin to grow towards who we ultimately choose to be NOW.
For many of us, we have lived in guilt of things we have done, or we try to build our lives on a foundation of past glories. There are sections of this book, where it may seem at times to be a recounting of past battles won and lost, you will see that it is not about the outcomes, but the lessons. It has been a powerful gift for me to learn from those lessons as I go along this journey, and I trust that the Creator who I have come count to on, who guides me on this path, will allow me to communicate my experiences, strength, and hope in a way that will help at least one other person. For if one person can benefit from my experience; then I can rest knowing that I have lived my life well.
Let my lesson begin....
The Warrior Sage Chapter/Section
Who Is Willard Barth?
Preface - Exploring Strength And Weakness
Chapter 1:1 - The Process Of Self-Awareness
Chapter 1:2 The Stages Of Child Development
Chapter 2:1 - The World Changed Forever
Chapter 2:2 The Vicious Cycle Begins
Chapter 2:3 Losing Faith
Chapter 2:4 My Dark Secret
Chapter 2:5 Where Is the Love?
Chapter 3:1 Seeking Paths Of Acceptance
Chapter 3:2 The Road To Alcohol Dependence
Chapter 3:3 Leaving My Childhood Behind
Chapter 3:4 Escaping Responsibility; The Joy Ride Ends
Chapter 3:5 Living A Duality Begins
Chapter 3:6 Out Of Control
Chapter 3:7 Crossing The Line To Insanity
Chapter 3:8 The Black-out Drinking Begins
Chapter 3:9 Facing The Music
Chapter 3:10 A New Beginning
Chapter 3:11 More Lessons To Learn
Chapter 4:1 The Final Party
Chapter 4:2 A Moment Of Clarity
Chapter 4:3 My New Life Begins
Chapter 4:4 Sober - Time To Face The World
Chapter 4:5 The First Year Of Sobriety
Chapter 4:6 Major Change Comes In Year Two
Chapter 4:7 My Daughter Is Born April 20, 1992
Chapter 5:1 Life Changing Decisions Follow My Daughter's Birth
Chapter 5:2 Recognizing The Voice Inside
Chapter 5:3 The Empress Hotel
Chapter 5:4 A New Chapter In My Life Begins
Chapter 6:1 Finding My Way Home
Chapter 6:2 Falling Into Place
Chapter 6:3 A New Awareness
Chapter 6:4 Personal Finances And Personal Development
Chapter 6:5 The George Washington Story
Chapter 6:6 Letting Go So Others Can Grow
Chapter 6:7 The Wrap Up
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